March 25th, 2007

  • pgdf

Typical Wendy's customer a confused bisexual onanist

I'd like to second everything that our stalwart and hirsute King Arthur said by way of introduction. Without his initiative and example motivating three fellow dilatory bohemians, the world would not now be enjoying yet another endlessly scrolling monitorful of bumf and snark-oganda!

Allow me to get things off to an appropriate start.

Rock musicians "selling out" their music for advertisements has never particularly bothered me. Lord knows, if someone asked me to endorse a product for tons of cash, I'd leap at the opportuity. ("Ribofunk-brand spare organs--your lobotomized clone will never miss them!") Certainly the best pop music can reinforce the advertiser's message: buy my product and experience the passion and power and nostalgic kicks conveyed by this music.

But there remains an art to matching song and product. In an example of matching done well: the carefully selected music of Led Zep and the Who, for instance, can affirm the joys of driving a new car fast.

But what happens when some moronic ad guy chooses an excerpt of a song simply based on its admittedly catchy (but unfortunately wordless) monster riff?

Well, you get the current Wendy's campaign, which is trying to sell burgers with "Blister in the Sun," by the Violent Femmes (led by Gordon Gano, a vegetarian).

Here are the lyrics, just in case you've forgotten:

When I'm out walkin' I strut my stuff
Man,I'm so strung out
I'm high as a kite and I just might stop to check you out

Let me go on like I blister in the sun
Let me go on big hands I know you're the one

Body and heat I stain my sheets
I don't even know why
My girlfriend she's at the end and she is starting to cry

Let me go on like I blister in the sun
Let me go on big hands I know you're the one

When I'm out walkin' I strut my stuff
Man,I'm so strung out
I'm high as a kite and I just might stop to check you out
When I'm out walkin' I strut my stuff
Man,I'm so strung out
I'm high as a kite and I just might stop to check you out
Body and beats I stain my sheets
I don't even know why
My girlfriend she's at the end she is starting to cry
When I'm out walkin' I strut my stuff
Man,I'm so strung out
I'm high as a kite I just might stop to check you out

Let me go on like I blister in the sun
Let me go on big hands I know you're the one


Wow. This is ten times scarier and warped than that guy in the Burger King mask! Could this be the actual transgressive point? Nah! Just careless stupidity and tone-deafness, I'm sure.

Do we have any candidates from readers for other inappropriate pop-song/product matchups?

The Savage Detectives

Just pre-ordered Roberto Bolano's The Savage Detectives.  I'd read a bit about some of his earlier work but had never read him; this book has just been translated and will be out next week.  Sounds pretty cool.  He'd be a good one to have as a guest, only he's dead. 

What he said

Since I don't have TV reception, I miss all this stuff -- I've still never seen the infamous Nick Drake VW ad featuring "Pink Moon."  I did catch the car ad with "Lust for Life" (the one with the tagline, "What will the other soccer moms think?") and while I still respect Iggy Pop, it made me feel really bad about myself, because at the time I was, like, a soccer mom, and I felt like someone from that car company had been following me around in my old beat-up Volvo while I was playing "Lust for Life" really loud and now he was making fun of me.  Which meant that everyone who saw that car ad, even if they didn't know who I was, if they hated that ad, and soccer moms, they must hate me too.

That's why I don't have a TV -- it makes everything so confusing.   I used to kind of like the Violent Femmes. 

This reminds of me George Melly's study of pop music, Revolt Into Style (from a famous quote about Elvis, "he changed revolt into style").  Pop will eat itself, as the band put it; but does that mean we have to eat at Wendy's?

Because now I'm not hungry any more.

I5

Merry Man, Awkward Man, The Blimp, White Feather, Dumb Bunny . . . they are (or were) The Inferior Five, a superhero group fondly remembered by those of us who were reading such things back in the 60s.

Supposedly, Woody Allen was the inspiration for Merry Man.  I'm not sure who the inspiration for Dumb Bunny was, but I know that her curvaceous form inspired me to some hot and heavy comic book fantasies!

Now, you may think that you know all about the Inferior Five . . . but I'm willing to bet you don't know this or this.

So, which of us is which inferior superhero?  Don't be so sure that you know the identity of Dumb Bunny!  

I'm proud to lay claim to White Feather, the archer who never misses a shot . . . unless somebody might be watching, and whose "nom de plume," as it were, boasts a proud tradition of cowardice! 



  • pgdf

I'm Your Prank Monkey!

A gentle reminder to folks interested in some free humor: be sure to visit Mark Kelly's marvelous site, LOCUS ONLINE, on April 1st for the traditional japery. I've submitted a few items to Mark, and if I'm lucky, he'll be using them. Other contributors include Jim Kelly and Graham Sleight.